my least favorite night.

new year's eve is NOT my thing. took me years to figure out why, years of pretending to make awesome plans that were going to be the best new year's eve ever. all that ended up happening was usually a major make-out sess with a toilet and ruining a perfectly cute party dress. one year i made a resolution to stop saying stupid stuff and i humiliated myself at 12:07am...

just looking at this picture makes me sweat. THERE ARE NO BATHROOMS IN TIMES SQUARE ON NEW YEAR'S EVE PEOPLE. NO. BATH. ROOMS. i've had tons of friends do this times square thing and they talked all about it's grossness. smashing people into a small space lit by the magic of corporate america sounds so wretched i just don't understand it's appeal...

oh look! from far away it looks so nice and fun! it's a sham. it's freaking december 31st in new york city. it is blistering cold in ny. AND DO YOU REMEMBER THE PART ABOUT THE BATHROOMS?! there is always so much preparation, so much stress, so much excitement for...well, exactly. what for?

the chances of going somewhere and seeing this lady are extremely high. but i do not think of this as a plus but rather, another reason why i will never go to bar after my 50th birthday...

oh, but wait! don't forget new year's eve could be your big shot at getting your ass groped by this guy...what a sexpot!

so, i am sorry. but i just don't love new year's eve. last year was ok. the year before that i left the party early and snuggled with my dogs in my warm bed. the year before that i am pretty sure was a party dress ruined/word vomit incident. overall the odds are just. no. good.

this year i am going to walk to the neighborhood bar with my bff, hope that everyone else has better plans so it doesn't get too crowded, plan on drinking 3 beers and an excessive amount of water to ease my fear of a hangover, get a little flirt on with a cute boy and hope to be home and in bed snuggling with my dogs by 1am. lame? probably. but i don't give a crap.