Friday, October 30, 2009

just too cute.

all of these pictures are from one of my favorite

please start going to this website on a regular basis... IMMEDIATELY.
a piggie in a can? hiLARious!!!
i read about it in one of my old fembot magazines. it was noted as a website that would melt away your stressful day, make you forget about the a$%hole on the phone and remember why life is grand (my interpretation of that fateful day i read about this website)...and it has NEVER disappointed me.

WHO DOESN'T LOVE BABY ANIMALS? oh, yes...people that are DEAD INSIDE. i have a bit of an obsession with animals and pets and in all reality, my true aspirations in life are the following:

1. housewife 2. farmer.

no joke. i've thought about it for a loooong time. but these two must go together. i can't farm like, for real farm. it is near impossible to make a living off of an actual farm these days. i have to be in a home that is supported on one income, namely my excellent, rich, charming, chisled, devoted husbands income. i would be farming but just to support those in my home. and maybe some other family, good friends and neighbors. i like to share. i think i could used to the idea of spending someone else's money (i mean, i did it successfully for at least 20 years)...and i won't be spending that much because i am going to LIVE OFF OF MY FARM FOOD! i am super good at volunteering and helping the community...aaand living on a farm would allow me to have as many animals as possible!!! yippeee!!!

so scroll back up and look again. see? i was MADE FOR that kind of life. i prefer gimpy animals with disabilities but i'll take anything and everything. ahhh, what a life that will be. you are welcome to visit my farm at any time. just please let my super tall, hot, dashing, sexy, intelligent husband or me know you are coming. i'll make cupcakes.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

sigh. (autumn style)

i rode the train back into nyc last weekend. the rails follow the hudson valley and it was by far the most beautiful fall foliage i have ever had the privilege to witness. the northern crisp cold air allows the trees to burst red and orange in a unique confetti all its own. i had just spent the previous days with my bestest of friends from college, one of whom had gotten married to an unbelievably-perfect-for-her man. we had wild dance partays and made fools of ourselves and created new silly stories to tell for years...

while on the train i reflected on how much i LOVE traveling alone. the freedom and confidence that rejuvs me when i travel is thrilling. it is all up to me: and i always take advantage and walk on the other side of the street. i do not always play by these rules at home and cannot think of a good reason why. i needed this trip to remind me that i should do this more often...

my soundtrack was small play list that i kept on repeat. it bellowed with my emotions as i watched the mountains and the skip wrecked banks of the river. here are a few of my favorites...

stop this train john mayer
relator pete yorn & scarlett johansson
shine on you crazy diamond pink floyd
annie's song john denver
pulse ani difranco
manhattan kings of leon
secret heart fiest
cry me a river justin timberlake
exodus bob marley

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

a little sleepless for you...

i am feeling a little not-quite-home sick...every fall i get a little nostalgic for a special time in my life that was one of the greatest things i have ever done...(and it has been raining for days and i can't think of anything else)

i miss that mountain view that blew my mind every time i saw it. it would reflect off of the bus window and was breathtaking....

i miss gas works park...boat time i saw a bald eagle there!

i miss the disco confessional bathroom...

mr d rock bass and i used to spend HOURS in this place watching cute boys...the black t-shirt and skinny jeans look was reemerging. and $30 could get us a pack of american spirits and a hefty inebriation for the evening...

i lived in seattle for a bit right after i graduated from college. alone. on my own. had to start from scratch with friends, jobs and everything. it was AhhhMAZING. i was way poor and had to eat tofu & pasta everyday. fun consisted of getting drunk with the neighbor while playing card games. i was volunteering my ass off & found EVERY free thing to do in that city....

by the time i left i had quite a few jobs, enough money, TONS of friends and knew that place like the back of my hand...

but it wasn't home. it was magical place where some people ran away to to be accepted...some went to the emerald city because their ____ city, mid-west, usa had kept them from their full potential...some were natives...others were nomads. i just didn't quite fit anywhere. i wasn't running from anything. or i did run away only to realize it wasn't necessary to run at all...

this city was the most supportive and exciting place to explore. i remember sitting somewhere almost daily and thanking god for that experience and that life...i have never spent that much time in solitude but was rarely lonely...

so i miss you seattle. i miss walking in the rain. the salty, wet, pavementy smell of the air. the egyptian theater. coffee messiah. the cha-cha & bimbo's bitchin' burrito kitchen. linda's. the gravity bar and weird asian bosses that give tube socks for birthday presents. pike place market on a homesick day. giant flower bunches for $5. the smell of raw fish (despite my-at the time-vegetarianism, i liked it.) homemade tofu from the corner store. chai in the mist from the cart on the corner. my favorite bookstore with the kitty cats. foreign roommates. colored bungalows. tons of parks with oceans and lakes. the puget sound. gardens. exploring islands on ferry boat rides. bear-e-oke. the guy that looked just like his bulldog and would take him to the gym and lunch with him everyday. cool bus stops. music. music. music. early scenesters. street fairs. art museums. poverty. activism. rainier beer. the view from my pioneer square office. infinite laughs and adventures. the most romantic place i know.

thank you again for having me.

Monday, October 26, 2009

mmm: my favorite mr. rockefeller

to be honest, my images searches of edward norton were not as satisfying as man meat monday searches usually are...there were too many goatee pictures (a la american history X...way too skinhead creepy) and the fight club pictures were not so flattering. i mean, he was bloody and sweaty most of time... pretty much one of the reasons that movie is SO FREAKING BAD A$%! anyhoo...i found these to be sufficient.

Friday, October 23, 2009

all you need is...

i am off to the hudson valley for another wedding. now, i am not against love at all. i find it quite nice. i am bursting with happiness and emotion when i get to witness the love of my friends and their "matches." a lot of times difficult relationships or unfortunate situations are highlighted and i prefer to see and observe those who treat each other with ones highest potential of kindness and caring. i love love. (it is the rest i am not so keen on...but enough of that.) i am focusing my mind on just the love. i get to be around some of those i love more than anything in the world, all of them live far, far away and being with them reminds me of those first days of freedom and independence. our responsibilities were slim and we were fearless. i love the love i have for these girls. these girls were my family and my life for many years and i am so lucky to still have them in my life. this is my favorite kind of love.

and it really is all you need...

Thursday, October 22, 2009

i kinda like my sleep, but thanks for the offer, city.

so. i am pretty sure i am like, the only person in the world that is not ecstatic when faced with a trip to the big apple, nyc. i mean, last time i was there i was LITERALLY slapped in the face with trash. and lots of it. i grew up in new york state so it is not the rude northern thing. i am a rude northerner. and nyc attitude is sooo different than the other frigid side of the state where i was raised.
but the city lights stress me out. i want to walk without being rubbed on all sides. at home, i store stuff in my car and do not need to carry my daily necessities on my back. i can hear crickets and frogs. i live in whole house. with a yard. and i am not dirt poor. or rich. my small southern town allows me this luxury and i like a-livin this life, i AM small town, usa.
aaand i don't want to offend the majillions of people i know that live and love nyc so this will be pleasant. i leave tomorrow for a few days in the city with a hudson valley wedding in between. (my last wedding for the next year WAHOOOO!) it should be a lovely vacation. i am actually pretty excited.
and i like central park. i like parks in general. and i plan on spending as much time in central park as i can this visit. hopefully it will not be too freezing and i can buy some warm, sugary, honey coated nuts in a bag that have probably been in the street vending machine for at least a year or two and be in heaven...

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

nice job, god.

the mountain sky was ahhhmazing last weekend. well played.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

the only one i let sneeze in my face...

any time, any place little o. with this mug, you can pretty much get away with anything. and you do. this little guy is a big dog in a little dogs body. he does not yip or yap. he spoons, cuddles, lays out, burrows, curls and rag dolls. he likes hiking and adventuring. he prefers the floorboard under the passengers seat of the car but enjoys a nice window view. he sees the advantage he has running from the top of one couch to the other when wraslin.' he is not available for permanent out of home companionship but would be happy to share himself if you come over. or if he decides to run to your porch for a quick snuggle.

Monday, October 19, 2009

mmm: oh joy! avoy!

so i am not a major james mcavoy fan. i mean, i wouldn't consider turning off a viewing of him but i do not stalk him as faithfully as i do with others. UNTIL I SAW HIM IN THIS SUIT.

well done, mr. mcavoy (and

Saturday, October 17, 2009

did anyone else notice?

this lovely autumn sky?
i'm hitting up the country again this weekend for my last dose until may. hope i can get someone to stargaze with me...and i hope the bears stay away...word out, boy scout.

Friday, October 16, 2009

i heart nick and nora

i do not like very many movies. but i LOVED this one.

the music is great. the heroine is not perfect. she's drop dead gorgeous in a unique and purposefully not freakishly skinny kind of way. she's awkward and sarcastic and embarrassing. her friend is a mess. we all know one. or are one. his bff's are my favorite.

michael cera is adorable. he's getting pretty close to having his own spread on mmm. this movie is silly, it is touching, it is realistic yet set in the magic of new york city as an average backdrop for these teens. it makes you remember when staying up all night was easy and fun and full of adventure.
so go see this please. it will make you warm and fuzzy. but sooo glad you are not 18 anymore.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

what i learned from teenagers this week

i am a youth leader of sorts. i assist with a state wide youth group that does a lot of activities (in congruence with the aforementioned location of my perfection) craig co, va...

so i spend a significant amount of time with these youngsters and each time i leave them i find myself feeling a little selfish. i mean, they could not have possibly gotten as much out of our experiences together as i have. there is NO way.

these kids are brilliant. they are so mature (kinda waaay more mature than i am at 29). they are witty. they have goals and dreams and an amazing outlook on life. so i obvi learn tremendous lessons while in their presence. some i knew before but having them remind me is quite are a few:

1. keep things fun at all costs
this is definitely not something i skimp on. i like things that are fun. i like making things fun. but when faced with making things (namely, sometimes boring service projects) fun for teenagers i am tested. keeps me on my toes.

2. if you don't listen to people-they will zone out
duh. but this applies to everyone. it is easy to see when others zone out on others...not so easy to see sometimes when others zone out on you. self awareness is crucial.

3. teamwork is good
sometimes i isolate myself from group activities...because i find my irritated beyond belief and i just want to go home and be alone with my dogs lest i freaking strangle someone...excuse me. although time is often well spent in solitude, it is important to join to team on a regular basis. sometimes people are really not that bad and it is just you. get over yourself.

4. don't take anything too seriously
FOR REALS. there is nothing like hearing someone stressing over a chemistry test next thursday to put life into perspective. sit back and decide if it is really worth your sweat before you sweat it.

5. if possible, under any and all circumstances: SING OUT LOUD
'nuf said.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

my next 1st day...

i am starting a new job today.

leaving the old job was very difficult. i have grown so much over the years in that position. i felt confident in my knowledge of the practice yet constantly challenged and knocked off my a$& with new obstacles. i had pretty much the BEST support system there could be at a job. i was allowed to use my creativity and trusted. my opinion was valued. ekk! what am i doing leaving?...but wait...there were some major problems (umm...have i mentioned it was in the field of child abuse?)...but over the last few weeks i vowed not to focus and rack up a list of negatives but leave this chapter of my life on a positive note, ready for another adventure.

so here i go...i haven't had this feeling in a while...i am excited and ready for the experience i will be thrown into in this new sector of society...i hope i have made the right decision...wish me luck!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

my stupid mouth...

i have a big mouth. i am a chatterbox, a motormouth, a yapper, a busybody, a clack, a magpie, a windbag, a blowhard, a get the point.

sometimes i notice when i am being a leedle too gregarious and sometimes i do not. i used to be severely self-conscious (almost panicky) about this but self-conscious is not really my thing so i gave that up.

when i open up my snapper and let it flow i can assure you that it is because i feel strongly about something or someone. and, believe it or not, i have upgraded and continuously attempt to improve my filter and maintain clarity with my intentions. but that does not mean i still won't speak my mind.
i will continue to speak my mind when i feel others are not heard. when i feel some are marginalized or ignored i will say something about it...or figure out who needs to know to make a change. i use my stupid mouth in defense of others i feel are not being treated fairly. my pie hole can be a beacon of justice so that others may join who are like minded but maybe just little squeak can be their squawk.

but my squealer gets me into trouble. once i was trying to defend a best friend and her wishes at a slumber party and i ended up the odd girl out. the friendship immediately ended, i was too young and intimidated to speak up as to my reasoning and i became the victim of the middle school girls' cruelty for a looong time.

as an adult, i am not as defensive and i have confidence to argue my way through disagreements or confrontations. i have to remind myself that others do not always want to "battle" and will not come to table with their voices or concerns if i am always donning my "warpaint."

a sweet southerner once told me "you catch more flies with sugar than vinegar." so very true. (but i have always found vingear much more useful than sugar...literally and figuratively)

i fell in love with john mayer last year. after that whole body is a wonderland song i was totally grossed out by him and pretty much made fun of him with a vengeance. then...for some reason...i downloaded a cd. then i downloaded four more. his lyrics are amazing and i find it comforting to listen to someone my age...singing songs about what it is like RIGHT NOW for us. (and come on, when he dated jessica simpson the rest of us realized how incredibly dreamy he really is) my title is from one of his songs...and it is a really good one. go listen.

Monday, October 12, 2009

i know, i know, boy crazy is a 'tween term...

i now officially declare: man meat mondays

after finding several photos over the years of today's choice, grade A selection...a title term seemed appropriate.

HELLO!!!??? now channing tatum is not exactly my type...but he had me at break dancing in step up. (which i may add, i actually saw in the theater. with a 15 year old. her choice. kinda)

now, he's all married and such now but let's hope that does not mean he will quit posing for us in his underpants.

<<<***fun fact***>>>

mr. tatum has starred with fellow featured star of my objectivity, joseph gordon-levitt in a number of films, namely: stop-loss and gi joe. i have yet to see gi joe but i can assure you there are TONS of underpants scenes in stop-loss.

Friday, October 9, 2009

almost heaven, (south) west virginia...

i am heading to the mountains for few days. the remote location of craig co, of my own "perfect" places...a magical land where every thing is beautiful, every one is kind and laughing incessantly is a must...
peace out, girl scout.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

no whining.

my dad got a mug or t-shirt or something for his 50th birthday party that said "no whining" on it. he would bring that stupid thing out (obvi it made an impact as i cannot recall its form) whenever he began to lose an argument or point*...(as if it would stop an argument i was-i am so sure poignantly-trying to make in my teen years.)

*again, parentals, i am reeeally sorry about all of my points from age 12-19, you were right. every time. you can stop bringing it up now)

so light of yesterdays spoiled little brat rant about my precious influx of shoes (which pretty much snowballed the entire day of ADULTHOOD inspired losses and realizations...more on that later)...i will take a few minutes to redeem my privileged selfishness with gratitude...
my soon-to-be-former-boss-turned-friend-blogger, curiousgirl, completed this task on her last birthday. at the time i did one also in my journal. but i only started it in december and my birthday is in august so i am carrying over the ones i did not complete last year into this year. i might say i did a good job with my list :)

you should complete this exercise. especially if you are at that third-of-life-crisis, holy sh*t! here comes 30! phase of is a good practice to start: it's ON time clock of life!

here are the rollovers from last year...

1 go to georgia.
2 canoe. (i totally would have done this one if it had not been so windy at the lake. dang.)
3 play golf. (this attempt was also foiled by mother nature-lightening+golf club=bad idea, no?)
4 swim.
5 do something with sister only.
6 do something with just nephew r.
7 do something with just nephew p...worst aunt ever.
8 read a book on the shelf.
(ehhh, i can already see this one on next years list...reading has lost it's valor)
9 eat dinner with your family once a week.
(i give myself a b for this one, my parents leave the state for like, three months in the summer so it takes a while to adjust.)

these are the new ones...

10 try your best to NOT attend any weddings.

(look. i am not trying to hateful here but i have spent an unbelievable amount of money, time and emotional turmoil on the seventy thoudred events i have attended in the last 5-7 years. i am tired. tired of the bridezillas, the showers, the batchelorette parties. i am fully aware there is no end in sight for at least another decade. so i'm taking this year off. i've never really been one for weddings anyway so give me a break.)

11 take a plane somewhere for YOUR reasons. (much needed visit locations: austin, seattle, san fran)

12 she is right: a little make up helps. take a minute and put some on.

13 continue to keep fresh flowers in the house at all times.

14 considering planting various flowers in wild wilderness of backyard to decrease cost of purchasing fresh flowers.

15 host more girls' nights.

16 pack your lunch.

17 go to all of the small town antique shops in the surrounding counties you have always wanted to visit.

18 listen to music in the dark.

19 ask your father to tell you more about his parents.

20 ask your mother to tell you more about her parents.

21 stick to your budget.

22 use cash only.

23 sit on the mountain top a little longer and enjoy the view.

24 just listen.

25 take the dog out on long morning walks, despite the weather. she loves it and so do you.

26 paint the much desired mural on the back of the house.

27 stamp out road rage (this got better mid summer but has dramatically escalated)

28 play board games.

29 don't gossip. boo. i hate this one.

so i feel a little more focused. crossing things off of lists and talking are like, two of my top five favorite things to talking about crossing things of lists is as good as it gets over here.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

what is to become of me?!!!

it has been about fifty one days since my last birthday...a birthday that hurt a hurt like a small, rounded corner of a table jabbing you in the lower side...not super painful-and a sudden rush of relief that it wasn't a hard edged table- but nonetheless, with pressure and intensity.

do not get me wrong: i am happy with where i am in life: real job, health insurance, house that is all mine (except for that pesky mortgage), wonderful support, wee little garden, pink kitchen table...i am well on my way to becoming the cat lady i always knew i would be. and i like it this way.
but something has changed. it is happening all around me and i am not sure how to deal with it.

i am just going to throw it out there: i am having a hard time wearing (and enjoying) my fabulous shoe collection. i am ignoring the pants that fit perfectly when i am 2 inches higher, comfort is attempting to squash out chic, i am actually considering having travelling shoes. (and i in NO way have a commute).

this is a problem for several reasons:
1. i LOVE my shoe collection. i spent many dollars suffocating depression and frustrations with those purchases...(might i add, i have addressed this problem and do not behave in this way any more, at least not with shoes. or handbags)...but they MEAN so much to me. a marker of how far i have come! each purchase was like a mini trophy of sorts, a well earned treat.


2. i feel like i look reeeally good in my shoes. i am a shorty. literally. heels give me that added boost. for years so many people were all, OMG! i always thought you were taller! (i always blew my own spot up when flip flop season came around) i feel a little incomplete when i am not as tall as i feel i have portrayed myself to be...i am a charade, a sham. shoes are the same no matter how many cupcakes you have eaten. they always fit and look good, same as the day you bought them. sigh.


3. this is yet one more (along with the "music being too loud," the bar/party/grocery store being "too crowded," and that _(fill in event here)_ just being "too late") sign of my impeding doom: full blown, mature, responsible (dumdumda) ADULTHOOD.


***please make note: i have never actually purchased any of the above referenced designer shoes (my obsession does not reach past department store trendy) but feel my purpose was better displayed with elegance of these proportions***

have i really become this person? me? i have always been the rayanne to your angela...the six to your blossom...lisa on the outside, bart on the inside...more kelly taylor, less donna martin...FREAKING co-founder of the summer church camp BRAT PACK. and now, i have succumbed to this fate: a serious consideration towards the health and well being of my posture, balance, core strength and the future condition of my arches? me!!!

'tis a sad day in this land, my sweets. eff you 29! ...and your pokey, not-stabbing-but-pressured-and-intense-side-ache, otherwise known as maturity. blegh.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

please go away...

here are a few things i think the world could do without...

really girl, you were super cute at one time. but THIS IS AWFUL. PLEASE STOP YOU ARE A MENACE TO MY EYES AND THAT COLOR.

rehab works if you work it.

sooo...maybe it's not really their fault...they didn't get the memo that REALITY TV TOTALLY EFFS UP YOUR LIFE & EVERYONE ELSE AROUND YOU THAT YOU LOVE & CARE FOR. especially children. PRIMARILY CHILDREN. (AS THEY ARE THE ONES WHO NEED THE ADULTS WHO HAVE BEEN EFFED UP TO APPROPRIATELY CARE FOR & NURTURE THEM.) i guess it is a possibility they could have missed it.


courtesy of:

nice work, ladies. i could not agree more.

my mom is always like, "if people stop buying into this crap then these people wouldn't be famous." yeah, you are probably right, mi madre. AGAIN. but some people just ask for it...and i am having the kind of day where i just want THEM to go away.