Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
stop this train john mayer
relator pete yorn & scarlett johansson
shine on you crazy diamond pink floyd
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
i miss that mountain view that blew my mind every time i saw it. it would reflect off of the bus window and was breathtaking....
i miss gas works park...boat houses...one time i saw a bald eagle there!
i miss the disco confessional bathroom...
mr d rock bass and i used to spend HOURS in this place watching cute boys...the black t-shirt and skinny jeans look was reemerging. and $30 could get us a pack of american spirits and a hefty inebriation for the evening...
i lived in seattle for a bit right after i graduated from college. alone. on my own. had to start from scratch with friends, jobs and everything. it was AhhhMAZING. i was way poor and had to eat tofu & pasta everyday. fun consisted of getting drunk with the neighbor while playing card games. i was volunteering my ass off & found EVERY free thing to do in that city....
by the time i left i had quite a few jobs, enough money, TONS of friends and knew that place like the back of my hand...
but it wasn't home. it was magical place where some people ran away to to be accepted...some went to the emerald city because their ____ city, mid-west, usa had kept them from their full potential...some were natives...others were nomads. i just didn't quite fit anywhere. i wasn't running from anything. or i did run away only to realize it wasn't necessary to run at all...
this city was the most supportive and exciting place to explore. i remember sitting somewhere almost daily and thanking god for that experience and that life...i have never spent that much time in solitude but was rarely lonely...
Monday, October 26, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
i am off to the hudson valley for another wedding. now, i am not against love at all. i find it quite nice. i am bursting with happiness and emotion when i get to witness the love of my friends and their "matches." a lot of times difficult relationships or unfortunate situations are highlighted and i prefer to see and observe those who treat each other with ones highest potential of kindness and caring. i love love. (it is the rest i am not so keen on...but enough of that.) i am focusing my mind on just the love. i get to be around some of those i love more than anything in the world, all of them live far, far away and being with them reminds me of those first days of freedom and independence. our responsibilities were slim and we were fearless. i love the love i have for these girls. these girls were my family and my life for many years and i am so lucky to still have them in my life. this is my favorite kind of love.
and it really is all you need...
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
i do not like very many movies. but i LOVED this one.
the music is great. the heroine is not perfect. she's drop dead gorgeous in a unique and purposefully not freakishly skinny kind of way. she's awkward and sarcastic and embarrassing. her friend is a mess. we all know one. or are one. his bff's are my favorite.
michael cera is adorable. he's getting pretty close to having his own spread on mmm. this movie is silly, it is touching, it is realistic yet set in the magic of new york city as an average backdrop for these teens. it makes you remember when staying up all night was easy and fun and full of adventure.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
so i spend a significant amount of time with these youngsters and each time i leave them i find myself feeling a little selfish. i mean, they could not have possibly gotten as much out of our experiences together as i have. there is NO way.
these kids are brilliant. they are so mature (kinda waaay more mature than i am at 29). they are witty. they have goals and dreams and an amazing outlook on life. so i obvi learn tremendous lessons while in their presence. some i knew before but having them remind me is quite helpful...here are a few:
1. keep things fun at all costs
this is definitely not something i skimp on. i like things that are fun. i like making things fun. but when faced with making things (namely, sometimes boring service projects) fun for teenagers i am tested. keeps me on my toes.
2. if you don't listen to people-they will zone out
duh. but this applies to everyone. it is easy to see when others zone out on others...not so easy to see sometimes when others zone out on you. self awareness is crucial.
3. teamwork is good
sometimes i isolate myself from group activities...because i find my irritated beyond belief and i just want to go home and be alone with my dogs lest i freaking strangle someone...excuse me. although time is often well spent in solitude, it is important to join to team on a regular basis. sometimes people are really not that bad and it is just you. get over yourself.
4. don't take anything too seriously
FOR REALS. there is nothing like hearing someone stressing over a chemistry test next thursday to put life into perspective. sit back and decide if it is really worth your sweat before you sweat it.
5. if possible, under any and all circumstances: SING OUT LOUD
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
leaving the old job was very difficult. i have grown so much over the years in that position. i felt confident in my knowledge of the practice yet constantly challenged and knocked off my a$& with new obstacles. i had pretty much the BEST support system there could be at a job. i was allowed to use my creativity and trusted. my opinion was valued. ekk! what am i doing leaving?...but wait...there were some major problems (umm...have i mentioned it was in the field of child abuse?)...but over the last few weeks i vowed not to focus and rack up a list of negatives but leave this chapter of my life on a positive note, ready for another adventure.
so here i go...i haven't had this feeling in a while...i am excited and ready for the experience i will be thrown into in this new sector of society...i hope i have made the right decision...wish me luck!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
sometimes i notice when i am being a leedle too gregarious and sometimes i do not. i used to be severely self-conscious (almost panicky) about this but self-conscious is not really my thing so i gave that up.
when i open up my snapper and let it flow i can assure you that it is because i feel strongly about something or someone. and, believe it or not, i have upgraded and continuously attempt to improve my filter and maintain clarity with my intentions. but that does not mean i still won't speak my mind.
i will continue to speak my mind when i feel others are not heard. when i feel some are marginalized or ignored i will say something about it...or figure out who needs to know to make a change. i use my stupid mouth in defense of others i feel are not being treated fairly. my pie hole can be a beacon of justice so that others may join who are like minded but maybe just little quieter...my squeak can be their squawk.
but my squealer gets me into trouble. once i was trying to defend a best friend and her wishes at a slumber party and i ended up the odd girl out. the friendship immediately ended, i was too young and intimidated to speak up as to my reasoning and i became the victim of the middle school girls' cruelty for a looong time.
as an adult, i am not as defensive and i have confidence to argue my way through disagreements or confrontations. i have to remind myself that others do not always want to "battle" and will not come to table with their voices or concerns if i am always donning my "warpaint."
a sweet southerner once told me "you catch more flies with sugar than vinegar." so very true. (but i have always found vingear much more useful than sugar...literally and figuratively)
i fell in love with john mayer last year. after that whole body is a wonderland song i was totally grossed out by him and pretty much made fun of him with a vengeance. then...for some reason...i downloaded a cd. then i downloaded four more. his lyrics are amazing and i find it comforting to listen to someone my age...singing songs about what it is like RIGHT NOW for us. (and come on, when he dated jessica simpson the rest of us realized how incredibly dreamy he really is)...so my title is from one of his songs...and it is a really good one. go listen.
Monday, October 12, 2009
after finding several photos over the years of today's choice, grade A selection...a title term seemed appropriate.
HELLO!!!??? now channing tatum is not exactly my type...but he had me at break dancing in step up. (which i may add, i actually saw in the theater. with a 15 year old. her choice. kinda)
mr. tatum has starred with fellow featured star of my objectivity, joseph gordon-levitt in a number of films, namely: stop-loss and gi joe. i have yet to see gi joe but i can assure you there are TONS of underpants scenes in stop-loss.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
2 canoe. (i totally would have done this one if it had not been so windy at the lake. dang.)
9 eat dinner with your family once a week.
these are the new ones...
10 try your best to NOT attend any weddings.
(look. i am not trying to hateful here but i have spent an unbelievable amount of money, time and emotional turmoil on the seventy thoudred events i have attended in the last 5-7 years. i am tired. tired of the bridezillas, the showers, the batchelorette parties. i am fully aware there is no end in sight for at least another decade. so i'm taking this year off. i've never really been one for weddings anyway so give me a break.)
11 take a plane somewhere for YOUR reasons. (much needed visit locations: austin, seattle, san fran)
12 she is right: a little make up helps. take a minute and put some on.
13 continue to keep fresh flowers in the house at all times.
14 considering planting various flowers in wild wilderness of backyard to decrease cost of purchasing fresh flowers.
15 host more girls' nights.
16 pack your lunch.
17 go to all of the small town antique shops in the surrounding counties you have always wanted to visit.
18 listen to music in the dark.
19 ask your father to tell you more about his parents.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
3. this is yet one more (along with the "music being too loud," the bar/party/grocery store being "too crowded," and that _(fill in event here)_ just being "too late") sign of my impeding doom: full blown, mature, responsible (dumdumda) ADULTHOOD.
have i really become this person? me? i have always been the rayanne to your angela...the six to your blossom...lisa on the outside, bart on the inside...more kelly taylor, less donna martin...FREAKING co-founder of the summer church camp BRAT PACK. and now, i have succumbed to this fate: a serious consideration towards the health and well being of my posture, balance, core strength and the future condition of my arches? me!!!
'tis a sad day in this land, my sweets. eff you 29! ...and your pokey, not-stabbing-but-pressured-and-intense-side-ache, otherwise known as maturity. blegh.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
really girl, you were super cute at one time. but THIS IS AWFUL. PLEASE STOP YOU ARE A MENACE TO MY EYES AND THAT COLOR.
rehab works if you work it.