Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
i digress...so overall, i like sports fans. i'm a bills fan cause my whole family is from there, it is the town i was raised in and fortunately i moved to the south before adulthood and was spared a terrible whiny accent and a fate of wearing entirely too much make-up... i am fully aware that the bills suck but it is in my blood to love them. i used to trick or treat at the players rental houses and remember getting autographs at lunchtime in elementary school. my dad's bff from high school was a defensive line coach and is a football hall of famer so they get to tour the stadium and locker rooms every few years. one time i got to say hi to boomer esiason when i was 9 cause of my dad's coach friend. we went to a bills vs. bengals game. he was the largest man i have, to this day, ever seen in real life.
so i like sports fans because they represent one of my topics of favor: ultimate loyalty. even when your team is down, you love them. you feel their pain and their joy. this is a good quality to have, which is why, despite not loving sports- i still love the bills. that and my dad still has zubas.
if i ever consider boyfriends again i am going to make sure they are into sports for two reasons: 1. it demonstrates a consistent interest in something and 2. it will assure time alone during specific seasons so they won't get on my nerves. this is something several of my boyfriends lack and i've decided i don't really trust boys that aren't into sports. unless they are gay men. that is the only exception.
Friday, November 27, 2009
i caught my father paying the balance for a surgery i had many years ago. at the time, i was told it would all be covered by my insurance and i stupidly believed him. it was after surgery for my heart that was kind pertinent to my future health and well being. but OMG i just about flipped my lid when i saw the balance. the bill was forwarded well after he had paid for most of it as i had been in a temporary apartment and didn't forward my mail from his house until i moved more permanently. as much as i appreciate my dad's help on this...HOLY CRAP!!! do they screw you when you are sick...or trying not to be sick. or aren't really sick at all but have for instance a birth defect or abnormality that can be easily remedied because you know and love your body and seek assistance when something does not feel right...arghh!
so, yeah. dad neglected to inform me that insurance (although absolutely necessary) is STILL freaking expensive. even when you are an able bodied, responsible adult. co-pays are just a mean trick to make you think that is all that you owe for this friendly office visit. i mean honestly, i avoid going to the doctor at all costs because i am terrified they will slap a "pre-existing condition" on my pulled muscle or funny feeling limb. cause they have tried to do this already. when i tried to fight it, i lost. why? because my dad was at the same doctors office and they mentioned an old balance that was rejected by my insurance. and he paid it. three years later.
winner: daughter. use this time to become a healthier, more aware individual, ladies. pay attention to WHO and WHAT you are paying and fight like hell when you feel screwed. health care reform NOW!!!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
last night i kinda made plans. i did my chores, prepped what i could for thanksgiving, put on some make-up, a clean shirt, my favorite boots...but after all of that i changed back into a sweatshirt and my uggs and sat on the deck star gazing with a nice, cold SNPA.
i've been downloading TONS of new music and i sat outside with only the stars and listened to the avett brothers (i'm the only onw who missed the memo on how effing amazing they are)...i've been overplaying "head full of doubt/road full of promise" from their latest album. it is the most beautiful song i have heard in a looong time. at first i didn't really think i could relate to this song right now in life...i recalled those times when i would have listened to this song as if it were written for me..that makes this song so much more special to me now. it's like part of my past is at peace and i've recognized it.
it was the perfect type of cold. the stars were electric and i could have sat outside with that song on all night long...savoring every part of the moment...with grin in the dark...it's been a while since i've had a song like this.
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Wednesday, November 25, 2009
another rampant current city hater city is richmond, va. again, richmond is also pretty cool. if i hadn't moved there with someone that had bi-polar features i would have enjoyed living there a lot more. i love going there now. richmond is in no way a black hole of in-opportunity...and unlike many other cities, it is not very cheap to live in so if you live there and hate it...your bad. stop complaining and go to dc and waste your money or something.
by far the most hating i have ever observed and currently feel a blood boiling level of epic proportions for is my current city. i like my little southern town. now i too, was a hater of lynchburg for a while but i was SIXTEEN YEARS OLD. i grew up in the new york and was culture shocked into this place and felt like i was drowning for a few years before i peaced out to college and didn't look back...for about a decade. then i explored and pondered and ran away and ran back a few times and decided this was the kind of place i wanted to live in.
i have no desire to watch my back in the city i live in. i have no desire to commute or pay a ridiculous amount of money for housing. i like mountains and the river. i like walking my dog and i love the park that takes my stress away on a regular basis. i like my family close by. i like my friends who i don't have to "explain" myself to. (they know i'm a bitch and keep me in check when necessary.) i don't get bored here. if anything, i wish i had more time to do everything i would like to do...especially in the summer.
don't get me wrong- there are things that drive me crazy about this place, just like any normal person...there are days i want to scream. (this is why i rarely drive west of link road, unless going to my parents house or the yellow sub)...but i don't dwell and the good outweigh the bad. if they didn't i would move away.
so those of you who are under 40 and hate lynchburg: if you are able, please consider relocating. it has been lovely to have you but i am taking your negativity personally. if you want "stuff to do" OPEN YOUR EYES, there is a bunch of fun stuff right here. think of it this way: IT MIGHT BE YOU, not the city. you may not be happy in any city. perhaps you are a chronic current city hater. i don't know, that is your business...i just know i am going to go apeshit the next time you ask where i am from then scoff sarcastically when i answer proudly.
i am from lynchburg jerk face. and i live here by choice. deal with it.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
here i am thinking about music and how into it i used to be. i admit, when i was younger i totally filled my cd books with things i thought would impress boys. i truthfully enjoyed the music but i did have a "secret" cd book with all of my guilty pleasures...my frank sinatra obsession, my raging chick fembot tunes, my never ending 80s & 90s dance party collection...now i could care less, i listen to what i like. SO. i stop into my local sheetz for gas which i am super excited about because i never go to sheetz and i find it fun in there. i do not live near one, i do not like traveling outside of my comfort zone rivermont ave/dwntwn area, so sheetz is a real treat. i love all things sheetz.
but i am a total hypocrite. i kinda hate all things sheetz at the same time. the wal-mart of gas stations where everything is focused on consuming and cheapness, at the expense of the "third world" and the underemployed. the variety of options is sickening. absurd. typically american. there are some things "all american" that i secretly love that represent things i publically hate. sheetz is one of them. i spent some time (because it always takes FOREVER to get your crap at sheetz-another thing i usually hate) walking the isles. i am in awe of the products, cookie dough balls as a snack, four different kinds of white glazes on cinnamon buns, ten different types of reese's products, items i have NEVER seen before because, i never go outside my safe zone unless traveling out of town or under exigent circumstances, like buying heels at the mall.
two awesome things happen when i am in sheetz on this day.:
i know! holy crap. overpriced coffee is one of my pet peeves so the fact i got to enjoy a latte for the grand total of $2.17 made me super happy. i got a giant one. word. (sheetz did not put a happy kitten face in my latte, of course, but i am now going to make a life goal to find the place that does) then the next thing happened...
i l.o.v.e. this song! i mean, most people do. but this one brings back so many memories and especially on the day when i am contemplating reinstating music as a priority in my life i am psyched. i kinda want to have a dance party and look around for others to join in. i unabashedly grin as i recall the nights of dancing in dorm rooms to this album...the coffee maker lady heckles along and i coo to myself, awww what american camaraderie. then i laugh out loud because the rolling stones are so american, but not american. like, the epitome of everything all american! like everything sheetz.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
holeee gawddd! i am forced to tears -pretty much every year-by my taxes. and this is in the digital, online-form age where they basically do everything for you, you just need to put the numbers in where they say so...but then i started owing stuff. and working grown up jobs. hrumppf.
once i tried to ask my dad for help and he actually held his arm around the page and wasn't allowing me to see what he was writing. he said it was because he is left handed but then i got it: financial independence (for his household members) is something he cannot handle. this is why he will not explain.
i do not think he has a masochistic desire to see me cry and stress over my paperwork (which is why i do it alone. very, very alone. i am scary person when dealing with confusing paperwork. even the dogs hide)...but i do think it is difficult for my father to accept that i need to know how to do these things...in the event of _____. i find this odd as my father had to take on many primary caregiver (including financial) responsibilities at a very young age. you would think he would want me to be tax payer savvy, no? NO. i even had to pay back taxes from many, many years ago this past year that i did not file. i did not file because at the time my father told me (and i QUOTE) "you did not make enough for it to matter and you lived out of the state for most of the year, anyway." WRONG. i had to pay that measly $125 with interest. boo.
winner: daughter. ladies this is something you MUST know how to handle yourself! (and they let you print out directions that are about 15 pages long so you can blot your tears with the excess pages.)
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
but along with all things winter i find myself getting something else: kinda bored. i have a nerdy little list of 'things to do in the winter,' i clean a lot, my closets are creepily organized...but i am still kinda bored. a little dulled. big yawn.
i mean, i can only watch so many tv shows on netflix. (and i do not even like tv that much!) AND i know i should shut my face, cause, in march...imma gonna get hostile and the season has just begun.
so i am trying to enjoy the change of pace...i mean, before you know it the ridiculousness of the holiday season will be among us and I WILL GET TO WEAR MY NEW PLAID DESIGNER BAG. there. i feel better already.
Monday, November 16, 2009
my former boss and i would spend some pretty intense moments worshipping all that is robert pattinson. (it was good for morale & moments like that established the title phrase) he's just so soooo...when i turned in my resignation letter i attached it to a rp calender...
a well played move on my part. but i must admit, i have debated going back and getting a copy of that calender for myself. or actually going to that movies he is in. droool.
(photos from mtv.com)
Friday, November 13, 2009
2. broken stuff
again, always seeking my fathers assistance when i broke stuff as a child was easy: "please put barbie's head back on that my sister ripped off" "please reattach this sparkly pink basket to my bike that was ejected from the handle bars when i ate in on the big hill three streets over" "please pay for the car i just wrecked into the other one on the way to school" ...you get the point.
as an adult these things are becoming more complicated...toilets and various plumping equipment, kitchen stuff, closet racks with too many clothes on them...i have learned these are all things i am more than capable of attending to myself as an adult.
i am pretty much the most impatient person EVER so asking for my father's assistance means i would have to wait for him to find time to assist me (which i totally do NOT get, because the man is retired..come on, it is like he could be MY personal maintenance man, right?!) and i have come to realize that my father, god bless him, is not skilled in all things maintenance related. in fact, joint "fixing broken stuff" projects have turned sour as of late and created some pretty heated arguments mostly centering around the fact he has engineer logic (or none at all) and poor communication skills. and i am a wretched brat.
i believe my father did not tell me i could do these things myself because then the whole "rescue me" thing would be exposed. and i realized all of my closet racks and shelves were on a slant when he was finished with them.
winner: daughter. don't tell him it's broke, fix it yourself. (or only ask him to fix stuff you don't really care about or use often)
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
but what the crap do you blog about for veteran's day when you are a bleeding heart liberal that has serious issues with the disproportionately deployed, gender, race and sex biased, poorly organized american military? hmmm.
now. don't get me wrong i respect those who serve our (and many other) country(ies). i beep at the little old men who stand at the bottom of the monument terrace steps in my little southern town every friday. they have done so for MANY years...hmmm perhaps as long as the occupation in iraq?...how long has that been again? oh yeah, NINE YEARS. NINE FREAKING YEARS. NINE LONG YEARS. i digress.
i feel the label of providing "service to your country" should not be limited to time served in the military. i love president obama's focus on service at home and love the old "scrimp and save" attitudes among americans during the first and second world war. geewillikers, wouldn't it be nice (and totally logical) to apply this method of living in the grand old usa, like, TODAY? hello? economic crisis? environmental degradation? SI SE PUEDE! again, i digress.
so how does one blog about veteran's day to shed some dignity on the fact that the entire day will be spent enjoying freedom and home ownership and yard work and probably bacon and chocolate chip pancakes? i image searched state holidays and found a pretty amazing gem of a website...
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
and let's not forget where this all began...i pretty much watched this movie with my bff one street over, like, everyday. no joke. everyday, for about a year or two.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
being a daddy's girl has many perks, but for now i must focus on the unfortunates. i feel this series of blogs may be a service to other daddy's girls who are struggling with the overprotective father as a grown up girl...as one is raised a daddy's girl a shield is placed around this girls existence. as is the fathers primary job, a thick layer of protection is put intact upon the girl at a very early age, some may say at birth...or earlier. this is great as a child and a young woman but then BAM! adulthood hits and all those things your father has been doing for you (or in some aspects hiding from you)/protecting you from/etc. hit like a brick wall.
it has taken me a while to decipher some of these mysteries...most at the literal and blatant opposition of my fathers wishes. some i still let him control (or at least make him think he controls) some i have had to fight for...
i have a top ten list of things daddy's keep secret from their girls but will be dividing these up as series to avoid the unending blog entry effect.
1. car stuff
this is by far the worst battle i have ever fought. not only do i get the once over every time i have an oil change or an inspection, but my father controls this aspect of my life still because it is so much easier than dealing with his shit if i do not. it is also certain i will never hear the end of it if something goes awry. my mother suffers from this also. neither of us have ever really been "completely happy" with a car purchase after going through the agonizing process of searching and seeking out cars when needed with my father in tow. we have both just settled on ANY thing after a few weeks...it IS that bad.
when my last auto was agreed upon we could not actually purchase the one we were sitting in and testing driving at the time because I suggested we check out the options at this particular car seller lot. my father had to drive THREE hours away to buy the exact same car but from another man that fitted his criteria. mainly: that HE found himself. (may i add this auto my father chose had a number of issues, i.e. filthy seats, unidentifiable things melted on the fabric in weird places, blown out speakers, a broken gas gauge, etc., etc. but WHATEVER. i was beginning to have homicidal thoughts and would not dream of bringing up any of these issues. car shopping with my dad is just that painful.) so my mother and i have historically agreed to the first thing that is marginally mutually agreed upon. last time, since i had been through this process several times before i thought i had learned my lesson and decided i would only insist on having a particular color automobile. i really did not give a crap what style, size, make, model, etc. i thought i was being reasonable and smart. FAIL. (all i wanted was a black car and i have a grey-blue one in my driveway.)
after many years of insisting that the local mechanic, (whose child i went to school with, that was from the same ole southern town we all live in, that knows every.single.person here, that i work out with at the Y everyday) was indeed an honest, hardworking man, my father finally agrees he won't screw me over when i need some car maintenance. now he thinks he is a golden car god and believes everything the man says. i think he might actually have a man crush on him now....BUT mind you, i had to visit his garage in the closet for a few years because my father had to realize this man's potential on his own...alas, he now services his vehicle at the same locale and all is right in this department. (but it seriously took him over a decade)
AND this is after years of dad's "last minute engine checks" which btw, have left me on the side of the road at 7am on the way back to college...
so why? WHY? do you ask, do i continue to seek my father's assistance in the car stuff department? WWWHHYYY? because i heart the crap out of him and don't know shit about cars, that is why. and the man used to live in flint, michigan and worked for GE. it would be a sin not to include him. i am afraid he might seriously cry.
winner: father. keep him, but reluctantly and as sparingly as possible, only under exigent circumstances and at dealerships.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
i am. born and raised.
i would be better off bringing home an underachieving, yet aspiring adult film director than a republican.
he's pretty neat and his signs are real purty.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
this picture was in bazaar magazine last year...right before THE election. i cut it out and put in on a cork board in my office with a quote from ms barrymore attached:
"i can't imagine why we all don't want desperately to take care of each other."
sigh. she is one of my most absolute favorites.
Drew Barrymore Lookbook
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remember: there is something important you MUST do this week!!! reminder tomorrow :)