mmm: last chance...

as i have mentioned...this year is my last year in my 20s. this post (and several of the next consecutive mmm's) is a part of this series...

once you hit the sparkling age of 30 i feel it is no longer appropriate to publicly drool and coo over young men that would be borderline criminal (or pathetic) to date. this coincides with my obsession with the whole cougar/cub phenomenon...but i have no intention of cougaring.

so the next eight months, my lovelies, as i walk down the plank to that big, bad birthday...i will be exploiting and celebrating each and every beautiful, young male celebrity i can find. for after that fateful day in august when summer is rolling down from it's peak, i will retire from mouthing off at the little ones...as it will become a little more crass. a bit more sad. and just not allowable in my book of reasons titled: because you are 30. that's why.

i will take every chance i can until then...

***chance crawford was just in this article but the pictures were too effing hot to post on this little entry...check it out but be careful...

Chace Crawford Interview: Finishing School - Beauty Industry and Products News - WWD.com ***

icky poo puppies...

sigh.

my mom has been fostering five puppies for the past few weeks. they are so effing cute i can't stand it. mom is keeping one but today, sadly, they start to go to their new homes...

this one i call wrinkles and he was my favorite. puppies just make you feel squishy and warm and happy and all seems right with the world.

i bought a new camera (woohooo!) and took so many pictures of the puppies it was a little pathetic. but my time with the puppies was lovely. on christmas, i took each one upstairs to snuggle separately...

they are each so different and unique and sweet and playful and ekkk! puppies!

i think we should all learn a lesson here as the new year approaches: find time to stop and snuggle the puppies. being squishy and warm and happy and all seems right with the world is something i can sure use more of...dunno about you...

daddy's girl, part 8.

(for previous entries in this series, please refer to daddy's girl, parts 1-7)

8. large purchases aka better to ask santa

my dad never told me that most male retail workers tend to view my appearance similar to the following when i am seeking a large ticket item purchase:

i was not aware that i often walked around looking so helpless and confused but, apparently, this is a fact of life. who knew?!
this explains why my television at home resembles the above picture (ok. i'm exaggerating a little) but it is way old and weighs about 50lbs.

this also explains why i do not have motor operated lawn equipment, a stereo, or speakers, or anything higher than the technical level of a basic lap top and a dvd player in my home or car...

going into retail stores for large purchases is the WORST EXPERIENCE EVER if you are female, at ANY age. i despise it the most. i would rather go to the dentist, the gynecologist AND the dmv on the same day. i would rather wear a bathing suit in public. i would rather eat olives. OLIVES! (and i really, really, really, really, really hate olives)

i am fairly certain that these employees are schooled in the fine art of intimidation, degradation and condescension. very few things scare me off but lord help me, i could go the rest of my life without ever setting foot in a bestbuy, an autozone (and i kinda love this store) or the not labeled but so obviously gender specific section of lowe's (i.e. everything past the lighting department) AGAIN.

if it needs to go inside of this, i'm outta here. my dad pretends like it irritates him but i know he prefers to handle this stuff...which i think is why he uses his i'm not putting up with your crap missy voice every time i tag along to one of the aforementioned locations. and i am 29 years old.

it kinda takes some of the glory out of home ownership. i mean, i still frequent the hardware store. i love a good hardware store. in fact, i hate the hello my name is ___ people so much i try my best to get everything at my teensy little local hardware store. that and i'm a small business supporter. and the store is within my comfort zone.

i actually do all sorts of research in the privacy of my own home before i decide on a big ticket item, to decrease the time required in the store deciding, thus rendering myself vulnerable to the vultures known as hello my name is ___. if i cannot buy it online or quickly, i kinda just go without. i am telling you. it is that bad.

winner: father. just go replace my battery for me. pleeeease. if i have to go in there and get laughed at i will flip. (and i know exactly what kinda of battery my car needs. and i can change my own flat tire. and i am a badass at most yard work. now i just don't want to because they ruined it)

holly jolly.

who are we kidding? this is still one of the funniest snl clips ever. their facial hair is so gross and it makes me laugh every time. jt is the best. snl. guest. ever. so join the rest of america and laugh your butt off to this special holiday video!!!

merry christmas!!!

on the eve...

for someone my age i spend a significant amount of time at church. i am chair of this cheesy committee. and i am in charge of stuff and i go to all of the church board meetings... (which sometimes totally suck but i feel if i am going to bitch and moan about stuff-i need to be on the board to know what i am bitching and moaning about)...my mother used to work for our church in bflo and i spent many days after school there (that church was so badass-it was big and scary and interesting and there were so many fun things to play with) and have always felt pretty comfortable in any church type setting.

i also have the benefit of being a part of an extremely open and affirming congregation. i remember my lesbian sunday schools teachers...no biggie. now, in a city of fundamentalism and religion gone crazy...this is something i treasure about my denomination.

but in all honesty...church doesn't really do it for me, if you know what i mean. praying in unison (actually in public for that matter) freaks me out. a lot of terrible behaviors are accepted and excused at church and this drives me batty. oh, yeah...and i don't really buy all of it. some nice stories and lessons, but...seriously? virgin birth? death by slingshot? leaving your own life to live with your mother-in-law by choice? i find it super difficult to relate to scripture and fanaticism surrounding god, jesus, "the word", etc.

and let's not forget to mention i am a youth leader of sorts and am super involved in all sorts of activities not only among my own church members but across the state...sometimes i feel a little like a closet agnostic...

my mom used to get so pissy with C & E's, as she called them (christmas & easter). this is the name "church folk" give people who only come to service on these days. she got extra flustered when they insisted their children were in the christmas eve play five minutes prior to showtime, then sat in the front row...blocking the view of all of the faithful regular attendants. the nerve!

so over the years i have found my niche of spirituality, (it is rarely during sunday service) as ever changing and challenging as it has become and will continue to be...i am right with myself and whomever or whatever i feel i am held accountable to...

but every once in a while, i'll have an experience like tonight. i love the 11pm candlelight christmas eve service. i struggle with the stories and some of the lyrics are wretched...but i love the songs. i sang them super loud tonight...i sat with one of my widowed buddies, m. she is a special person in my life and i would not have met her if it wasn't for my church that i so often gripe about.

so this evening was one of those moments. a validation of why i go back, why i stay connected to something i am so unsure about...it is a wonderful place to be. and sometimes, when the time is right, the peace and love and hope and faith is so strong you can feel it all around you.

merry christmas :)

(this semi-serious post will in no way deter the intentions i have for posting dick in a box tomorrow afternoon, btw)

holiday cheer.

i reeeeally wanted the dysfunctional family christmas album but i guess the copyrights are too strict cause all those old snl people are famous or deceased...but this one will do. tracy morgan is freaking hilarious and has always been one of my all time favorites..

sorry about the ad. jimmy fallon is so hot.

family time...

my dad and i both love frank sinatra, dean martin, mel torme...all the old rat packers and lounge singers. i always find this hilarious because all of their lyrics are so damn old and offensive. but i dig it...i have a pretty awesome collection of these tunes so when i am at my parents house i usually jam out with my dad to these tunes...happy holidays!

rip frank! his birthday was december 12th.

hiberation ain't so bad.

i HATE winter. i used to love it. i grew up in snowy bflo, ny. it was a difficult adjustment once i moved south...(i.e. NO snow on christmas. are you kidding me?) i even stayed near the snowy mountains for college. in the nnw it never gets super cold, which i really liked. but i am sure, like most people, the rain would have eventually gotten to me...although it would have taken a long, long, long time. one time i had to drive to montana because i really missed snow. i got stuck in a blizzard in idaho and almost killed myself and my car, ending up at a spooky truck stop and drank beers with some alcoholic pilots...their "glory days" stories will make you stay FAR away from planes...then i accidentally walked out on my tab and snoozed in my car until it was safe to drive back...but that another story for another day.

so i converted. sold my soul to the south. LOVE the summer. BRING ON the heat, the humidity, outside play, OUTSIDE! every fall now i get a little depressed...bringing out my leather boots cheers me a bit but then it's back to cold weather contempt when the dogs INSIST on getting me out of my warm, cozy bed. i pout. i complain a little. a grouch appears. then i get over it. being grouchy takes it toll, after all.

sooo...introducing the top five BEST things (according to me) about winter!!!

1. MORE SLEEP!!!

my super inspiring, head-on-her-shoulders friend n and i discussed this last year. winter=an excuse to sleep more. don't feel like getting up and out of your super cozy bed? DON'T! sleep a little longer, relish the covers and the warmess (or at least get back into the bed-please let the dogs out if they need to go i don't recommend ignoring them...nor does your carpet. or floor... you get the hint)...don't ignore your yawn, INDULGE in it! take a nap, a snooze, go to bed at 8pm...whatever! enjoy the extra S.L.E.E.P.





2. TIME TO EAT HOT STUFF!!!
as in temperature hot.
soup tastes better when it is cold outside. hot cocoa is a wintertime STAPLE. pasta is more comforting. mac n cheese? nuf said. take the time to eat, enjoy and be internally warmed by hot stuff.

burberry fall
3. EXTRA PADDING!!!

layers layers layers....scarves, sweaters, tights, vest, jackets, boots, socks, leggings, hats, muffs, wraps...etc., etc...eat a little too much of the aforementioned hot stuff? not a problem! throw on a couple extra t-shirts, long sleeved wonders and a cute little coat and no one will ever know you have some extra padding attached to your body. you've got a few months to worry about getting rid of it so PACK IT ON. or in.


4. FOG!!!
it is just awesome and doesn't come around as much in other seasons.




5. THE GREAT COLD RUSH!!!

in winter you get to wrap yourself up and rush to the car...into the building...over there, over here, and FAST, lest your nostrils freeze together. I LOVE THIS! it makes everything feel so thrilling! and getting where you need to be is like a race or a big deal...who cares if it is lame once you get there...getting there was so challenging and whew! what an adventure! it makes me happier to see those i am visiting. my destination is sweeter upon arrival. i feel accomplished.



and if you disagree, well, refer to numero uno.

wahhh wah wah.

look. i don't mean to put a bummer on man meat monday (and tomorrow i have dedicated a post to the positives of winter) BUT i am stuck at home after several days of blizzard of 2009ing. still.

i couldn't go to work this morning cause of the icy road & i went to bed too late...so after missing half the day i was like "muahaha, perhaps i'll use this day to play semi-hooky and head to raleigh to meet some bff's from college." i have to use a vacay day (which i am pissed about) and raleigh didn't get squat so i figured i could safely head south east. 1st fail. boo. sad. at least i could have salvaged this day to be worth it but instead i am writing this and watching 3 dogs and a cat snore on my bed. which is totally cute but not lifting my mood.


i parked my car at the top of the street next to the main road thinking the 40 feet to the road would be feasible. 2nd fail. my car is stuck in several inches of wet snow that even if removed would then have to venture onto the four solid inches of ice that prohibit me from the lovely, cleared main road that is rivermont ave. also, i live in an neighborhood that is pretty low on the totem pole for street cleaning, as if the southern style way of snow clearing were working...i watched several people skid and get stuck and it was obvi that there won't no moving round here.

then i came home and decided on several chores that needed completion only to find that my graceless fall last night on previously mentioned solid inches of ice had a bit more of an effect on me. i pulled some part of my back and am extremely ouchy and grouchy. 3rd fail.

at least i have soup. lots of lovely soup.

mmm: happy chrismakkuh!

obvi adam brody is a babe. i have a super awesome friend, h and we used to spend a significant amount of time watching the oc. we actually have a slight obsession with teen dramadies that star grown adults acting as age inappropraitely eloquent hotties. i l.o.v.e. teen dramadies.

each season of the oc the dudes are unique. aaand seth is always hot. i always felt bad for summer roberts/rachel bilson when i found out that she dated seth cohen/adam brody but then they broke up and continued to date on the show. i bet they were all like "screw you." "no, eff you." action! "i love you, summer." (kiss kiss)" "you too, cohen." (awkward oc hug). that's rough, girl.

we all have a few geeks we are into...when i was sick i watched some of the oc on hulu and i miss my little cohen...

best love song in my book.

i think this is the most romantic song EVER. my mom and i have always loved it. i think it reminds her of vietnam and having a husband solider that she wrote to and lived a different life from. it wasn't intended as a "war song" but became one. (cause no one was able to jump a plane home when they got dumped via snail mail in vietnam) a majillion people have covered this song. the box tops version has always been my favorite and i'm happy to report they were pretty damn hot...




i totally dig bobby darin and was surprised to see his version. it is not at all typical bobby darin. it's got some soul. go bobby.




al green's version is pretty sweet, of course. his version is way sadder but definitely not as desperate as the original...




joe cocker creeps me out in person but he's a badass and his version gives desperation a new meaning...



i've always been bummed that this song is really only 2 minutes long and like, two verses. but i'm always like, dude! i really think you should call her first! it sounds like she may have already "not been able to live without you no more" and once you get off of that (surely tres expensive) air-o-plane ride...the chances of your baby being with your best friend or gas station attendant are probably pretty high...consult female friend before doing anything rash!...sorry, it's just the truth.

i don't think people do desperate love like this anymore. which is a good thing overall, but makes for an excellent song.