9. fresh starts
i am super lucky. my dad taught me a lot about integrity and hard work and pride. he is a true gentleman and many people respect and admire him. but wooooah, he did not shed any light on the whole fresh start, begin again concept. i mean, he constantly reminds me about that time i lied/got caught/pulled a genius move doing ____. drives me insane. i was pretty wild as a child, tween and teenager. ok. at times i was a nightmare, it is true. i perfected the art of manipulation and covering your ass. i personally do not think i was doing anything that different than most teenagers my age but i will admit i was the best (or rather worst) of the crew. i strove for perfection in each and every delinquent activity. i was pretty much always to blame. i think my skills then have made me a much more responsible adult, mainly because it is clear to me that i cashed in every.single. "get out of jail free" card there is on earth.
but i have also realized that you can change and make good decisions from bad ones. there is not much that is absolute and unsolvable. but good god my dad still thinks that party i threw in 1996 is worth mentioning at every.single.family.event as the primary reason for my wretchedness as a teen. (it was an epic party, btw. totally worth it in the long run)
so i accept the fact that i can never fully have a fresh start with my father, but then again, being a daddy's girl...there isn't reeeally much need for one. as i said before, covering my ass is a strong suit. but thank god i am able to start again in most facets of life, because there are TONS of things i have royally sucked at and effed up.
winner: father. just as long as he keeps his mouth shut in front of employers and potential life partners, it's all gravy.
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