daddy's girl, part 7.

(for previous entries to this series please refer to daddy's girl, parts 1-6)

7. why boys do what they do

i got dumped one time in college and it was the bad, not only my heart but my skin is ripping off and everything is pouring all over the place, kinda being dumped. throw on a thick layer of clinical depression and no self esteem and there you have me at the time. i needed to go home for a few days but i could barely get out of bed/off the floor long enough to get my clothes together and then my car wouldn't start. then the world ended (or so i thought). anyhoo...got on the phone and was able (by the grace of my dear friends) to get home for a few days. one of those phone calls was to my parents house and my dad answered the phone and sounded like someone had beheaded his puppy in front of him. he was so choked up he couldn't really talk to me and passed the phone on...

i figured out that my dad's heart, in turn, was also broken. he's not the big, intimidating, i've got a shotgun and i will abuse my ownership of it to threaten you boy type of man...in fact, he's equally as liberal as i am when it comes to gun rights...but he gets PISSED if you eff with me. when my dad gets pissed, he completely clams. zips his lips. turns red in face, whiter in the hair...and you are on his shitlist for life.

so i wonder why my father never gave me the why boys do what they do warning...first of all, i don't think he could actually handle discussing in depth the topic of me and a male being intimate...(which is kinda ok with me...or maybe he tried but my attention span was so short i left the conversation before he got to the point)...another theory i have is that my dad was one of those guys when he was younger...therefore, telling me the secrets would be exposing his true self as a young male, destroying my perfect image of him...nahhh.

a few times, while hiking/walking with my dad (that is how we bond)...we have talked about my past relationships. he tells me about the last time he saw/talked to/wanted to maim them and kindly points out a character flaw or anomaly in their dress or demeanor...and then he usually makes jokes as to what d-bags they were...he's always been nice to them but i really doubt i have ever brought home a boy he has genuinely liked. he really likes a lot of my guy friends because i am pretty sure he knows they won't ever see me naked.

so why hasn't dad given me fair warning on what to look for in men? eeeeasy...then numero uno status is in jeopardy. he could have given me tips on what to look for, but i am glad he hasn't. i've figured it out of my own...(which is probably why i prefer to be single. ) and the thought of talking about the tendencies of the opposite sex i am involved with amongst my fathers ears makes me a little uncomfortable...actually it terrifies me and is gross and i never want to touch that topic with a ten foot pole.

winner: father. if you have a dad that is worthy of numero uno status-always keep him there. or at least always make sure he thinks he is numero uno. (and throw in that "it's so difficult to find someone i like because my example of what to live up to is so amazing"...it's true and brings on waterworks EVERY time)