title track.

i had a terrible, horrible, no good kittens & rainbowy day. a painfully kittens and rainbowy day. i've been in training for the past week and although the content was a little dull and the only thing i learned on the 1st day last week was that the trainer had a borderline unhealthy relationship with gambling and a racist bigot mother...but it was not the worst training ever.
sitting still is not my thing. but i have found sitting still with a room full of criminal justice majors is much better than a room full of social workers. sooo much better. and it is much more fun and sarcastic. there is only like, one person who is the psych major with all of the (wrong) diagnosis' under their breath and half of the trainers are ex-delinquent with really bad tattoos that are fun to look at.
...i spoke too soon. TODAY. WAS. AWFUL. the morning was set for mental health issues and the afternoon for substance abuse. both of these topics i am substantially familiar with but always learn something new so i was looking forward to the week...the drive was bad...icy roads then blinding fog...but my "tis winter time oh nine" mix is still sweet and somber so the drive didn't get to me. the morning presenter (despite the fact he had NO visuals. just talking.) was even marginally entertaining. he totally sounded like mitch hedberg.
***story alert! i went to see mitch hedberg once at a comedy club and he never showed (which ended up being a good show and then we got free tickets to another show and we saw bob saget and it WAS AWESOME) anyhooo, we were all like, "omg. hope hedberg isn't dead. isn't he a drug addict?" well. he was dead. and an addict. awkward.***
so this afternoons speaker had the worst presence ever, kept calling us "folk" (not folks just folk)and went off on a random tangent about a theory of SA that had no relevance to the public service worker. there were a lot of red arrows and random letters on a story board. he also kept calling us "case managers" which drives me frickin batty.

pathetic highlights of the afternoon:
1. apparently there was a drug king pin named "dump truck smitty" in va along the I-95 corridor that used a laundry business and dump trucks for cover at his heroin production and distribution company. no one else was laughing at the name except for me...what is wrong with these people?
2. direct quote from trainer: "look, folk. you need to get on the exact same level as the drug dealer." wtf?
3. at lunch this dumb girl was arguing the difference between opiates and poppys and heroin when i attempted to explain the correlation and mentioned the scene from the wizard of oz as an example she replied, "i've never seen that movie. ever." LIAR. then she proceeded to tell me she hated all of the food on my plate. like i give a crap.

the last hour was spent rediagnosing and judging a substance exposed, product of lifelong neglect, gang related, promiscuous, clinically chemically dependent hypothetical individual into weekly AA meetings and GED classes to solve the problems of the world. it was turrible. i went well beyond the point of trying not to bust out laughing...and literally got to the point of tears when i saw how serious and determined everyone else in the room were when they thought they had done an adequate job of "fixing" this imaginary client. i realized that i (29 year old me) was one of the top contenders in the room for "having harsh, real and confrontation discussions with people about their problems." and now i am jaded. it just broke my heart and solidified all that is denial and are you effing kidding me? with the world.

someone please send me to a farm...