growing up.

today i am finally going to put all of my precious baby green babies outside. they have been living in the guest room and i have been feeding them and talking to them and loving them. i am sad to let them go but i hope they grow strong and like the outside life!

fresh start.

i googled "fresh start" and this was one of the pictures that came up. i like it a lot.

dang it.

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
-- Erica Jong

NEW FAVORITE!!!

i found another website to geek out on!!!

it even has cartoon nudity! hahaha

kitteh!!!

i really like brushing my teeth, too. i can relate.

http://www.nataliedee.com/

thank you, creative people of the world for providing me with online distractions. you are the best.

beckham.

honestly, i am kind of at a loss for words upon posting lusty pictures of david beckham.
my co-worker and i were drooling over his picture. drooling.

i seriously cannot think of anything catchy to write.

david beckham has a ghetto booty, y'all.

!

!!!

so i totes had to post an underpants ad, of course.

semi vacay

so i am spending the week in portsmouth for training. i hate going to training and i feel this one will probably be more beneficial to my old job that my current one...but whatevs. i talked my way out of this training in snoozeville, va to the beach location! wahoo!

i have spent a tremendous amount of time researching the area so i can: 1. see this guy in the awesome colonial garb, 2. not get shot; there are some sketchy cities at the beach, and 3. eat like a queen all week long on the government. wassup!

i cannot wait to smell the ocean and be somewhere different. the salty smell is gonna get me ready for the heat. (which btw is taking it's sweet time getting here. urgh.) i love to explore places on my own and the drive and the place i have never been and the cable tv at the hotel are making me excited!

(and i get to visit my cousin that lived in washington when i lived in seattle! yea!)

i like these things too.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/amobeaeightyfour/2797626135/

words to live by...

“Every woman is a rebel, and usually in wild revolt against herself.”

- Oscar Wilde (via awakeinadream, zinotchka)

honey, please.

seriously, girl. i dig your music. i like to tic tok and not stop just as much as the next girl BUT, seriously. this is, like, the worst case of sex hair i have ever seen and then it totes grosses me out cause i think about what kind of sex you must be having to get your hair like that and then i am all disturbed and blegh.

i mean...take this por example. very cute shoes, skirt is money, t-shirt, sure! maybe to a ball game or lowe's on a saturday morning...but together? what kind of look is this? i thought rock/pop stars tried to cover up their drug addictions...not accentuate them via clothing and accessories?!

i am sure there is a nice, pretty girl under all that...glitter? is that glitter? or are those things people stuff in envelopes for lame party invites that get all over the damn place then the dogs and cats eat them and then they are really all over the place and did you only cry out of one eye there? were you laying down? and...roots are cool? really? roots? i'd rather just listen and not look, thank you.

unfortunate.

as i was logging criminal activity for work i noticed someone has court today for several narcotics possession charges. that cannot be good.

someone is reeeally going to like this one...

yeah. jason segel. amazing. hilarious. just watched i love you, man. pretty much LOLed the whole. flipping. time.

tall, awkward and goofy. perfect.

i love this group of comedians. and how gross and hysterical is this photo shoot? why the homo eroticism of dorky straight males so funny sometimes? is it their unsexiness? their shamelessness? i dunno. but gd that is funny.

jason was my fav way back when he was in freaks and geeks...one of my all time favorite shows i watched as a teenager that they mercilessly ripped from my life by cancelling the show even though for change, they were sharing lives of real, life like teens with embarrassing and relevant content. not that i'm bitter or anything (ahem: MY SO CALLED LIFE. FREAKS AND GEEKS. EFFING BLOSSOM woah!)

so anyhoo, let's not forget when jason used to bare his midriff, jam out on the drums and sang that long "lady l" to his girlfriend on the show and we all cringed and felt so humiliated for him. and her. and come, assholes that cancelled that show: what happened the summer lindsey went on dead tour with the crazy friend?!!! did she ditch her and become a hippie? did she move to california and live on a punk inspired, late eighties commune? did the music never stop? was she only there for one more saturday night? or did she keep on truckin? WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?

sorry, i digress. so, per usual...the steamy, doofusy...jason segel. love him.

p.s. this blog is dedicated to my dear friend r.

it's on bitches.

this weekend will be my first weekend back to craig county since the fall. i am psyched for this. duh. cause like, if you couldn't tell from last fall...it is another of my most favorite places ever. ever. ever.

so i'm gonna go down this way....

and around this way...

and maybe they will let me use to kitchen equipment again like last year! yea!

but. i hope i don't murder any precious snails this camp season. i still feel preeeetty bad about this little guy. i crushed his life (literally) about five minutes after we took this picture. he was so cute and sweet and snailing along like snails do and then CRUNCH he died. under my butt cheek. i think it was the left one. anyhoo...here's to another year!!!

who's the man?

beaker. duh.

happy friday, jerks.

go there now.

this blog is my new favorite. it is so friggin funny i have been slacking more than usual at work and rushing through her archives...then i am all like, relax. the archives will always be there...

it is like this licky face cartoon was made to me read by me! i think about licking people's faces all the time! ha!

my bff d sent me another of the spaghatta nadle's cartoons and i instantly. fell. in. love.

i hope you do too.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

end of an era.

the lusty lady in seattle is an effing landmark. it is literally right across the street from the best art museum in the city...and is pretty much in middle of everything awesome in downtown seattle...

the marquee is famous and the building is historic. (i am so bummed i missed this one!) i always made a point to take everyone that visited me to the marquee so they could be corrupted by one of seattle's best known locations. even my dad didn't believe me. he chuckled a lot. and totally wanted to see the marquee the second time he visited. hilar.

i know a girl that worked there for a little bit...it's the old peep show style dancing in a room while the windows open as you put in money kinda deal...i haven't really spoken to this girl in years but i think it is neat i knew an employee.

here is the public announcement:

Seattle's 'Lusty Lady' peep show closing
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

SEATTLE -- Seattle's Lusty Lady is closing.

The nude peep show near the Pike Place Market is known for the naughty puns on its marquee. The sign currently plays off two movies, "The Skirt Locker" and "Clash of the Tight Buns."

The adult business also is known for being female-owned and sharing profits with the dancers.

The Lusty Lady has been around since the 1970s, but the economy is forcing it to close its doors this summer. Manager Deborah Seaver says the marquee will be coming down in June.

Some of the other puns that have appeared on the marquee: "Happy Spanksgiving," "Happy Nude Year," "Seasons Squeezings," and "Always Open, Never Clothed."

just dang sad. adios, lusty lady...in a city where reclaiming sexual stereotypes and busting up gender roles is condoned and encouraged, you truly were one of the best the emerald city had to offer.

here is my favorite marquee. they were so dang creative...

just not made for me.

so i am totally obsessed with american apparel. i like their usa based digs and approach to fairness and equality (maybe at least initially) in the fashion industry. but here's the deal: there is nothing at aa that 1. ever fits, 2. is generally practically for everyday living and 3. that isn't displayed by a 90 lb model that is double jointed in places i did not know had joints and they make this shit look amazing...
now. where exactly should i wear my see through lace dress in smalltown, virginia? what does one wear a see through lace dress for? which type of party is appropriate? is this elegant causal? there is lace...i am at a loss for good answers.

oh, le sac. when this dress came out i squealed and bought mine immediately. i was so excited...look at all of the ways to wear!!! i even got the smallest size figuring it would be baggy...the dress arrives, it is summer in virginia and i spend the next two hours attempting to le sac myself. miserable fail. i am lucky i could still return the dress i was so sweaty once i finished. i took straps out and pulled them in interesting ways but the dress looked like le shit on me. there is NO WAY that girl is wearing a normal size. i ordered a small and it was a le trash bag (the lawn and leaf kind) on me and i am a whale compared to her...

i fall victim to the website again this year...look at this dress!!! it is adorable! i need one! but finally, after years of compulsively buying aa t shirts and long sleeved beauties at my fav little shop in a-vegas (only to find them creep up to barely reach my midriff after a few washes)...i have now squelched my desire for aa. i am no longer in denial. there is no way on gods green earth that my chestal region will fit into that little six inch terry cloth color block. i. have. given. up.

so, thanks for nothing american apparel. your models deceive and intrigue and take me to a land where i believe my body has no curves or rolls or need for fabrics that are thicker than a kleenex. for the tiny ladies out there: good for you. enjoy all that aa has to offer for me.

whenever i feel a little sad or pine for something spandex or unisex or hipsterish, i'll recall this metallic bodysuit and remember that i do not live in a big city world of anything goes.

and this is just fine with me.

this adrian should have gone after the last brody...

i netflixed a piece of shit movie the other night just because this guy was in it. and you know what? i dug it. he. was. terrible. and i kept expecting turtle to show up in new jams...

but at no point during the film did i consider turning it off...because 1. it was pretty good other than his terrible acting and, 2. he was just that hot.

here m'deary is as my cuban drug lord boyfriend. don't we all have a cuban drug lord boyfriend fantasy? i sure do, thanks a lot scarface. 'cept my bf is usually a cuban drug lord that is using his drug money to sustain his loyal people that are continuously being punished, deprived and boycotted from the nearest bordering countries economies via american bullshit political who's dick is bigger? games.

here he is as dreamboat, blued eyed, seventies roller skating partner boyfriend...

and here he is doing a lame-o photo shoot but whatevs. bang bang back at cha.