wasting time...

one of my favorite people moved away this weekend. i was able to spend an extended lunch with her this week and it was lovely. we have so much in common (despite our 30 year age difference) we see so many things the same way...i feel i could (and will continue to) seek her advice on almost anything that crosses my path and she would help me through it with wisdom and grace.

the sad thing is, i haven't spent tons of time with m because i had no idea she was moving until last week. we saw each other in church, walked on the ave around the same time, crossed paths on the art walks and went to the y simultaneously...but i feel like i missed out on a close friend that was right down the street. she's only moving to nc and it's a sweet vacay spot but i'm sad.

m and i share the same views on relationships and loneliness. she met the love her life later on and lost him tragically. she reminds me that nothing is to be rushed and everything works out for what it should be. i don't find myself with that desperate desire for a "life partner" yet (mainly cause i know it will challenge me to share and play nice with others and things i don't want to have to do at home. and a ton of my friends are going through their 1st rounds of divorce. blegh.) but i feel a pang of regret for not calling her when i thought about it that one day...for not bringing her some of my apple crisp during the snow storm...our relationship is not less valuable because i neglected to do those things...but i missed opportunities to spend time with someone whom i will now feel lonesome without.


i have to go to nc this weekend to visit a dear friend in the hospital. several hours in the car will force me to deal with the current loses and transitions and questionable difficulties of the past few months. i'm glad to have the moments with m to remind me to always write that note, have that dinner and make that call. and that in the end-it will all work out, just might take a minute.

but sometimes it's ok to be lonely and sad about something that isn't there.

p.s. remember when the state did the entire cover album of this song? bahahaha. that's one of my favorite sketches!