i want. i need.

this is the besthttp://recoveringlazyholic.com/needtowant.html

great advice.

here is a lovely excerpt from the article "Lighten up on yourself to have a better life" it's all about women who constantly feel like they don't do enough, love enough, or achieve enough...


So let's drop it, maybe?

Let's just anticipate that we (all of us) will disappoint ourselves somehow in the decade to come. Go ahead and let it happen.

Let somebody else be a better mother than you for one afternoon. Let somebody else go to art school. Let somebody else have a happy marriage, while you foolishly pick the wrong guy. (Hell, I've done it; it's survivable.)

While you're at it, take the wrong job. Move to the wrong city. Lose your temper in front of the boss, quit training for that marathon, wolf down a truckload of cupcakes the day after you start your diet.

Blow it all catastrophically, in fact, and then start over with good cheer. This is what we all must learn to do, for this is how maps get charted -- by taking wrong turns that lead to surprising passageways that open into spectacularly unexpected new worlds. So just march on. Future generations will thank you -- trust me -- for showing the way, for beating brave new footpaths out of wonky old mistakes.

Fall flat on your face if you must, but please, for the sake of us all, do not stop.

Map your own life.

By Elizabeth Gilbert from O, The Oprah Magazine © 2010

Elizabeth Gilbert is the author of "Eat, Pray, Love" and "Committed"

truth.

i have some PHENOMENAL girlfriends that recently pulled out all of the stops when i needed it most. they are always awesome but at the moments when you made bad choices that you knew were bad choices and your friends knew were bad choices and you did it anyway and you just need to let others take care of you and let you be pathetic and self deprecating without excessively apologizing or agonizing about being too much...at those moments my girlfriends leave me speechless with gratitude and love.

thank you, ladies...this sweet poem of unconditional love reminded me of you :)

dang it.

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
-- Erica Jong

words to live by...

“Every woman is a rebel, and usually in wild revolt against herself.”

- Oscar Wilde (via awakeinadream, zinotchka)

unfortunate.

as i was logging criminal activity for work i noticed someone has court today for several narcotics possession charges. that cannot be good.

just like me.

this is my paternal grandmother. i never met her but all of my older cousins took double takes when i visited them as an adult because they said i looked so much like her. she used to care for them while their mother (this baby) worked and was single momming it. one of those cousins posted this picture for the family reunion/70th birthday celebration of said aunt.

when i saw this picture i gasped at the resemblance...and i wish i had that fancy hat and wavy hairstyle as well. and that fabulous fur (i will sooo wear a (vintage) fur while holding a newborn, i know this gramma and i would have been pals)...

anyhoo, i also hear from my mother that i look exactly like her mother and have seen pictures of my mother as a teenager that make me gasp at the resemblance. i think this is neat.

a friendly reminder...

enough already.

so i totally blocked most of my uber conservative i guess i totally forgot that time i was on public assistance for a decade while the government and my fellow americans fed, sheltered and cared for my children's medical needs because after living life like an irresponsible train wreck for a while i now found this creepy jesus that allows me to say things that hurt others, ostracize my children and generally make others feel sick to their stomachs facebook friends from my facebook feed. it was empowering.

i was going to delete said persons but i decided against it. keeps me balanced.

sweet smells.

i bought a hyacinth plant a few weeks ago. i keep it in my bedroom cause they are my favorite flowers and the purple looks super awesome against my artichoke green. it has doubled in size and the fragrance of the plant is overwhelming. my room smells like heaven when i enter, not sleeping dog. another set of bulbs i planted last year sprouted out in front of my house despite the debris that was above it.

i think the hyacinths are trying to tell me something...they are determined and not wasting any time being fabulous. wise little plants.