goodbye august.

normally, i am a HUGE fan of august. and summer. but this year i am exhausted. too much went on this august. i'm sure someday i will look back and be like, woah, august was intense and awesome! but not right now. now i want my lawn to stop growing so i don't feel so guilty about it being two hundred inches long. i want to sleep UNDER all the covers. i want to take my pooch to the mountains and not worry about overheating or ticks.

see you next year, summer.

so queer.

ok. keeping up with gay mmm, we have one of my favorite show to date. queer as folk. i am fully aware that in reality many of these starts are indeed, not actually gay...but shut up! we are talking about the characters on the show, that is my reality people.

truly very difficult to not have this post be entirely about brian kinney but i'll admit that michael was a little dreamy throughout the years. he always kinda got on my nerves being all whiny and such but he's a great character and he would let brian had it when he got pissed!

oh, ethan. you were so creepy with your goatee and violin street skills. but i did love that you pulled justin away from brain, if only for a second...and the scene where justin goes to you at the end of whatever season and they play the cure's lovesong i'm certain is one of the most romantic scenes EVER put on a tv show.

sigh. the early season. brian going to justin's prom and all havoc ensuing later...a little creepy right? i mean brian has to be close to 30 (i looked it up, he's 29) as the show begins and justin is 17. ewwwww.

honestly gale harold is close to perfection in my book. throughout the seasons of queer as folk you get to see him moderately to severely nude is almost every episode. you hate him and love him at the same time. he's tender and vicious. honest and manipulative. i. love. him.

so go check the show out if you haven't. if you are squeamish about sex, especially homo sex. do not. (there's a terribly boring lesbian couple plot line that pretty much makes you want to puke but i guess straight dudes could get their boob fixes there but it's minimal... go for l word if you want boobs, dudes.)

i love this show. i love these characters. i love babylon.

maybe someday.

sometimes i think it would be so awesome to be a writer...i could drink coffee and sit at a computer by a window with a view of a lake or the mountains. i would write interesting and hilarious stuff and people would read it and say, "omg. i know exactly what she means!" my dogs would lay on the ground by my feet and inspire me with their eyebrows. i could watch, like really watch, the seasons change and the world going by...

i would paint too. and have a room to make collages in with a door that shut so the cats wouldn't get glue on their paws and have magazine scraps attached to their tails.

all of these things can be done now, i guess. maybe i should start.

livin.

i love this song cause it makes me think of 8th grade and moving to virginia and edward furlong was so cute back then but he really let himself go as a grown and man and i always thought that was such a waste but this video is so great and awesome if you are in 8th grade and i've never turned this song off if it has come on the radio i just get really excited and miss aerosmith when they used to rock.

last week i saw a video where steven tyler and joe perry were hitting each other with microphones and pushing each off of stages. sadly hilarious. but dudes, your time is up.

(submitted by withoutyouimnothing. reblogged from fuckyeahhappy)

Following the May 12, 2008 earthquake in China, this terrified giant panda grabs the leg of a policeman. By Photo Tractatus.

(reblogged from the pursuit of happyness)

“The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before.”
— Albert Einstein

(i could have reblogged this from like, a million people i don't know but come on...it's albert einstein not like some hipster from the LES)

nph LOVE.

so i have definitely been neglecting my tradition of mmm. but honestly, i have had a hard time expanding my horizons! am i stuck on particular men? do i have favorites and refuse to open my mind to new man meat? i'm just not finding more men to blog about...and it will continue to be creepy(er) if i keep posting jgl items.

i dunno what to do? WAIT! but what i DO know is that i have barely tapped into my most favoritist demographic of man meat: the homosexual.

i know, i know. how rude! you say, what a statement to make! but whatever. i stand by my feelings. i love gay men. a lot. A LOT. and always have. my gay male friends are counterparts of my life like no other companion.

i mean, how can you have someone compliment your boobs, make you feel sexy and confident AND allow you to cry and blubber about ____ boy/job/drama of the day all at one sitting without feeling bashful or self conscious?

my gay bff's are honest, straightforward (no pun intended) and REAL (although often coiffed and tanned and sculpted) i can tell them anything without fear of judgement. ok, wait. they are going to judge the hell out of me BUT they are going to tell me the truth about the situation and hold me accountable. and this i love and cherish.

sigh. and seriously? what is better that a sexy gay male couple? it's like a fun sandwich of hot man meatness and awesome dance partners!

wasting time...

one of my favorite people moved away this weekend. i was able to spend an extended lunch with her this week and it was lovely. we have so much in common (despite our 30 year age difference) we see so many things the same way...i feel i could (and will continue to) seek her advice on almost anything that crosses my path and she would help me through it with wisdom and grace.

the sad thing is, i haven't spent tons of time with m because i had no idea she was moving until last week. we saw each other in church, walked on the ave around the same time, crossed paths on the art walks and went to the y simultaneously...but i feel like i missed out on a close friend that was right down the street. she's only moving to nc and it's a sweet vacay spot but i'm sad.

m and i share the same views on relationships and loneliness. she met the love her life later on and lost him tragically. she reminds me that nothing is to be rushed and everything works out for what it should be. i don't find myself with that desperate desire for a "life partner" yet (mainly cause i know it will challenge me to share and play nice with others and things i don't want to have to do at home. and a ton of my friends are going through their 1st rounds of divorce. blegh.) but i feel a pang of regret for not calling her when i thought about it that one day...for not bringing her some of my apple crisp during the snow storm...our relationship is not less valuable because i neglected to do those things...but i missed opportunities to spend time with someone whom i will now feel lonesome without.


i have to go to nc this weekend to visit a dear friend in the hospital. several hours in the car will force me to deal with the current loses and transitions and questionable difficulties of the past few months. i'm glad to have the moments with m to remind me to always write that note, have that dinner and make that call. and that in the end-it will all work out, just might take a minute.

but sometimes it's ok to be lonely and sad about something that isn't there.

p.s. remember when the state did the entire cover album of this song? bahahaha. that's one of my favorite sketches!

this girl i know from high school seriously has the best taste in music. check out her new blog...http://www.aliceanddaisy.org...it's super awesome.

forever young.

i watched this movie young at heart about this groups of senior citizens that sing in a chorus. the film pretty much had me in both hysterics (laughing and sobbing) throughout the entire showing. PLEASE watch it. it's heartbreaking in a wonderful way :)

http://www.youngatheartchorus.com/index.php

i'm not going to write one of these.

(reblogged from paintyhands)(via briandoody) sabrina ward harrison

reblogged from: http://mcfearless.tumblr.com/

"so scared of getting older, i'm only good at being young.

so i play the numbers game to find a way to say it's just begun..."

-john mayer

my bff k told me last week that 30 was something to be excited about and that our twenties were our "lost years" and that this fresh start to being awesome was a good thing.

she is right :)

seriously. if any boys show up that i dislike imma get super peeved.

museum.

i'm finally going to the ginsberg exhibit today as a birthday present to myself. i LOVE the national gallery of art in dc. i know it's silly cause it is by no means as remarkable as other museums i have been to (and i dig me some art...i've been to some major museums) but the museums in dc are my favorite. (although i miss the seattle art museum and the nw art. a lot. a lot.) every city i go to i make a museum stop. la. nyc. chicago. charlotte.
one time on a school trip in college for african art we had an afternoon free and i spent it putzing around the smithsonians. i listened to joni mitchell and felt so peaceful. in mexico we went to unbelievably amazing museums of kahlo and trotsky. i listened to santana and felt inspired and determined and mysterious. one spring break i went with my parents again around dc and my mom and i split up and i listened to ani and i was scared and sad.

in seattle, i found out when all of the museums had free openings and saw some of the most amazing exhibits while i was there...diego rivera, japanese art galore...i would listen to beck and feel hopeful and lonely but in a good way.

every year i try to go to dc and see the same old stuff...but it's always new. i'm not sure what i listen to this year....ginsberg...jazz? the new arcade fire? johnny cash? i'll let you know how i felt...

http://www.nga.gov/exhibitions/ginsberginfo.shtm

26 out of 30 ain't bad.

1. Clothes that fit the size she is now, not the size she was five years ago
2. A weekly income that covers the rent (or mortgage payment)
3. An orgasm
4. Always enough toilet paper
5. A hair stylist she trusts
6. A favorite song, porn site, image, movie or fantasy that always gets her in the mood
7. Health insurance
8. A signature drink
9. A healthy relationship with her parents
10. Bras in the correct size
11. Enough alcohol in her home to offer drop-by guests a cocktail
12. An emergency hangover remedy
13. A voter registration card
14. A wardrobe that includes the perfectly flattering little black dress, a great pair of heels, jeans that make her ass look great, and a cute hat that hides a bad hair day
15. A yearly appointment with her gynecologist
16. The name of reliable movers to give her friends when they ask for help relocating
17. The gumption to ask a man out
18. A group of girlfriends who get it
19. A set of tools (and the ability to use them ... even if it’s just to hang a piece of art)
20. A balanced checkbook
21. No interest in men who just aren’t that into her
22. A vacation to look forward to at least once a year
23. A good bulls**t detector
24. The courage to stand up for herself and her beliefs
25. A favorite sex position
26. A set of hand towels so guests don’t have dry their hands on her bath towel (gross!)
27. Enough self-love to avoid and break off unhealthy friendships and relationships
28. A commitment to exercise
29. A retirement fund
30. A great vibrator

don't laugh. this website is a great way to relax and get moderately decent -> bad advice...
http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-30-things-every-woman-should-have-before-she-turns-30/?obref=obinsite

who says?

ok, ok. we all know how much i used to make fun of john mayer and then fell madly and unabashedly in love with his tunes...this album came out last year and fell right in line with my previous summers obsession with the music of the man.

it's been on my playlist A LOT lately and makes me sad and comforted at the same time. look. i'm sorry. i love being young and ready for anything and blah blah blah but come on there is a certain amount of worry and fear that everyone seems to forget about. we only remember the fun stuff...like being 22? in reality i was insecure and lost and irresponsible. i had no idea who i was or what the eff i was doing...but all i remember now is being free and traveling and only answering to myself...that was pretty sweet.

(i love this video for several reasons: 1. he's hot. but 2. mainly cause in one scene he has the half baked movie poster in the background...that came out in 1998...when mr. mayer was 22 and i'm assuming was gallivanting around nyc)

now. i'm not saying imma go fly outta the country and smoke a bunch of dope...but remember the time when that was a much more feasible option?

i love the sun!

Marianne Vierø — Out of Order #1. Sunbleached library books mounted on a wall

(reblogged from things organized neatly)

“When I wake up in the morning, I feel just like any other insecure 24-year old girl. Then I say, ‘Bitch, you’re Lady Gaga, you get up and walk the walk today.’”

- Lady Gaga


(reblogged from beccagrawl)

check her out!

http://www.secretagentl.com/

and how badass is this picture? i want one...

they just always make me feel better

:( no more?

the frown face has been following me lately. i felt it creeping in and stayed busy so i was forced to a happy face but now that summer activities have died down i'm left in the wake of over-committing myself...i feel it. this is good, because now...well, i'm forced to see why so frowny?

most reasons are pretty menial but altogether weighing on me:

• the departure of one of my oldest, truest friends :(
• my impeding 30th birthday :( :( (we all try to pretend like we don't care about age but once that major one hits that isn't about more freedom & privilege BAM.)
• big girls decisions, waiting for answers, arghhh...what's that again? oh yeah, S.T.R.E.S.S. :( :( :(

so i give myself this week to sulk. recoup. watch hours of arrested development and planet earth. blah.

but next week will be enough of that. next week i remind myself of the lovely things liiike:

• how i really do need a new pair of jeans cause the others i have are too big and have been for a while now. i can use that birthday discount and not feel guilty :)
• how lucky i am to have hard decisions to make, like, thank god i don't live in a world where my future is determined for me and i am trapped and unable to be free. (heavy i know but seriously, gets you out of being whiny & pathetic every time.) :) :)
• how i love the fleeting days of summer...cause they last FOREVER here. i never get sick of the heat. i do enjoy the fall but i looove how summer stays too long :) :) :)
• how this summer i realized how much i enjoy a movie theater visit. (many thanks to leonardo dicaprio and joseph gordon-levitt for being my crushes since 1991, without the both of you in a film, i would never gone to the big, expensive theater to see your awesomeness. twice.) :) :) :) :)
• so i may not be into the birthday this year but i'll muster up the strength to enjoy the birthday PARTY!!! :) :) :) :) :)

http://fuckyeahhappy.tumblr.com/page/5